Parenting is hard, no matter how you look at it. It feels like your heart is living on the outside of your body. We love and worry with every single fiber of our being and want the best possible lives for our kids…and dogs. Those of us with kids and dogs at the same time have an even bigger challenge on our hands. We have to divide our time and attention between multiple creatures, and often neglect ourselves in the process. Here are 5 habits that every toddler and dog parent should develop. You’ll have more confidence and peace of mind as a result. I promise.
Spend Quality Time Separately with Your Toddler & Dog
When our babies are tiny, we tend to nap as much as we can. Our bodies hurt and we are sleep deprived. But mama-napping is likely to taper off as your little one becomes more active. When the kiddo is awake and on the go, you have to be fully present – following behind to ensure your toddler’s survival. That leaves your kiddo’s nap time to get done all the things…including a little playtime with your pooch. Here are some simple ideas for how you can spend some quality time with your dog whenever you have a moment to spare.
- Do a quick training session: tricks, manners, games
- Hide treats around the house or yard and let pup sniff them out.
- Make some quick food puzzles in empty paper towel rolls or in an old towel. Here are lots of ideas.
- Give your pooch a little massage
- If you do need a nap, maybe your dog wants to snuggle (lucky you!)
Honestly, it’s easier to spend quality time with your kiddo than it is with the dog. If you run errands, go to the playground, take a tot-music class, or visit the library, this is all special time between you and your little one. But you can also spend time together at home – playing with blocks, play dough or reading books together. If your dog has good manners, he or she can rest politely at your feet during these activities. If not, the pooch can spend time outside or behind a baby gate (chewing on a tasty bone, perhaps).
Training is for Toddlers AND Dogs
Both toddlers and dogs need training to be good citizens in this world. It stinks to have a restaurant meal ruined by a toddler having a raging tantrum. It’s also a big bummer if a picnic goes to hell because a loose muddy dog runs across the blanket and steals the food. None of us wants to be one of those people who is responsible for such mayhem. Of course, most of us have actually been one of those people at one time or another (and frankly, I’m surprised that when my son was little that we weren’t escorted out of several grocery stores). But with some training, our kids and dogs can be excellent role models for politeness.
Our kids learn by watching our behavior. We need to model respect. By following the Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have them do unto you), we can teach our children to be kind and polite. That means not approaching a dog who is eating or resting, not pulling fur, ears or tails, and not running up to dogs they don’t know. We can even reward our kiddos for making good choices by using tools such as Reward Charts.
Don’t Potty Alone
No. I’m not kidding. It’s likely either your dog or toddler follows you to the bathroom, anyway. But truly, it’s not safe to leave them unattended while you pee, unless you have some tried and true safety strategies in place. See below for some suggestions.
Practice Small Separations to Build Confidence
Babies and dogs have lots in common. Most of the time, neither of them like to be left alone. They would prefer to be with you, naturally. But by practicing brief separations, your toddlers and dogs can become more confident and can learn to rest or entertain themselves while you are away or are even in the adjacent room. I’m not suggesting you leave the house while they are home, but merely that you step away on occasion for very brief periods of time. There’s a catch though. Like I mentioned above, it’s not even safe for you to potty alone, so how can I now be telling you to give your dogs and toddlers some alone time?
First of all, they won’t be alone together. Kids and dogs need management to ensure safety. Ideally, they will be separated from each other (or from you during this exercise) by a barrier of some sort, such as a baby gate, a pen, or even the door to a room in your house.
You can also use this time to spend quality time with each of your beloveds. While your toddler is happily playing with blocks on one side of a baby gate, you can spend 5 minutes teaching your dog a new trick. While your dog practices being apart from you on the other side of a barrier, you can give him a bone to chew as a reward, and can change a stinky diaper. Fun times.
Set Clear Expectations for Babysitters
Unless you have a nanny who is as incredible as Mary Poppins, your babysitter will likely need some specific directions about how to manage the dogs and kids at the same time. This goes beyond simple rules about what to make for dinner and how many bedtime stories to read. It needs to include specific instructions on where your toddler should be when the dog is eating, and where your dog should be while your toddler is playing on the floor. For more details on this and a free printable planner, head on over to my recent blog post on this very topic.
It’s been said that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Turns out that scientific data disagrees. It seems that 66 days tends of repeating a behavior can make it become more automatic in your daily routine, but it could still take longer. I mention this so that you don’t feel discouraged. In fact, I challenge you to stick with it until these 5 habits feel natural to you as you parent your 2 and 4-legged loves. With practice, your home will be safer and you will be less overwhelmed. Go ahead and get started. You’ve got this. And if you need support, I’m here for you. I can help privately or you are invited to take my online class: Parenting Toddlers and Dogs.
