Welcome to Parenting Kids and Dogs 101, a limited series podcast for parents who live with kids and dogs, or plan to. I’m your host, Michelle Stern, the founder of Pooch Parenting. I’m not just a certified professional dog trainer and former teacher, I’m a mom too. In each episode of this series, I hope you’ll feel like I’m chatting with you, one parent to another, about life with kids and dogs, answering common questions my clients ask me, and giving you simple solutions to make your life easier and safer.
I hope you’ll subscribe and join me for the whole series, and don’t forget to grab the accompanying workbook at https://poochparenting.net/podcastworkbook/
Listen to Episode 15 of the Parenting Kids and Dogs 101 Podcast
When is the right time to get a puppy?
- Make an honest assessment of your schedule and life. Here are some questions you should consider.
- Are you able to be home with a puppy? Puppies are social creatures and need awhile to transition into their new homes after leaving their mom and siblings. It wouldn’t be fair to get a puppy on a long weekend and then return to work / school the following Monday.
- It’s often difficult to raise a puppy alongside a baby or toddler. This is not an ideal time to get a puppy for some families, especially if you are uncomfortable with extra chaos and unpredictability.
- If you are considering adding a puppy to your family, I’d encourage you to wait until your children are at least 5 or 6 years old. They are able to follow your guidance at this age and can have safe, positive interactions with a dog with your support and with lots of management.
Should you get a puppy or an adult dog?
- Are you tolerant of sleep interruptions? If not, consider an adult dog who has the physical maturity to hold their bladder overnight and the emotional maturity to sleep through the night after they get used to their new home.
- Have you had a traumatic incident with a former dog that has left you feeling nervous about what your new dog will be like? If so, it might be helpful to foster-to-adopt a young adult dog (age 2 or older) so you can see what that dog is like.
- Dogs hit social maturity around the age of 2 (sometimes sooner for small breeds, and usually later for large breeds).
- At social maturity, you will have a better idea of who the dog IS and who they WILL BE. After this developmental benchmark (potential traumatic events aside), you may be more likely to know if your dog is social with other dogs, if they like kids, if they are friendly when visitors come to the house, or if they are shy and nervous around normal household activities.
- Do you or your kids have special needs? If so, here are some considerations for the age and type of dog that might be a good fit.
But I really want a puppy – What should I consider?
- Is it possible to meet the parents so that you can see what the pups’ temperament and size might be like?
- Have you met the breeder in person and seen their other dogs? Do you like them? Do they like your kids? Has the breeder done health testing to ensure that your dog is less likely to have skeletal, heart, breathing or eye issues?
- If your potential pup is from a rescue, do they have any background information on the parents? Are they willing to take the dog back if it’s unsafe around your kids in the future?
- Are you willing to use management equipment in your home (even if it doesn’t go with your home decor) and invest in training to prevent problems between your kids and puppies?
Should you get a puppy when you are pregnant?
- Everyone has a different pregnancy.
- If yours is going smoothly and you feel healthy enough, you could get a puppy early in the pregnancy so that you have time to bond and teach your pup the basics before your human baby arrives.
- If you are having a difficult pregnancy, YOU should be the main focus during this journey. A puppy will leave you drained, overwhelmed and with less time to care for your own health.
- If you are trying to get pregnant, but have puppy fever, you’ll need to honestly assess your circumstances. I’m happy to talk you through it – I have these conversations with clients regularly!
- You will never have this much freedom again for a long time, so now could be a good time if you are ready to fully commit to bonding, training, and preparing your dog for baby.
Should You get a Puppy or a Dog when you have a baby or toddler?
- If you have a baby, you may be wondering if you should wait to get a puppy.
- Some people say they are sleep deprived anyway, so they might as well get a puppy at the same time. But I’d encourage you to focus on parenting and not on a puppy at this time.
- Puppies bite. It’s normal. But it hurts. And babies are very delicate with soft skin. Of course, it IS possible to raise a puppy and infant at the same time. But parenting an infant is difficult already – so consider if you want it to be even harder.
- If you have a toddler, you might be wondering if that’s a good time to get a puppy to raise with your child. Again, I’d encourage you to wait.
- After working with hundreds of families who are living with children and dogs at the same time, here are some basic recommendations I would make:
- If you already have a dog, I’d recommend you take many months during your pregnancy, surrogacy or adoption process to prepare your dog for new baby.
- If you want to get an adult dog when you have a baby or toddler, I’d recommend choosing one who is THRILLED to meet your children and who chooses to interact with them calmly as early as the first time you meet.
Ongoing support for parents with dogs
It’s only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I’m being honest, it’s not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can’t rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you’d like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you’re not alone.
