This podcast episode was inspired by a Facebook post written by a mother who was in distress because her dog had bitten two of her children, resulting in visits to the emergency room. I discuss what happens when dogs bite kids, including:
- who to ask for advice
- parenting challenges when living with kids and dogs
- factors about dogs to consider
- factors about kids to consider
Listen to the episode
Dog Advice
Who should you ask for advice about your dogs and children? Consider these factors:
- Your Budget – you will need to pay for professional help. This might include getting the help of a veterinary behaviorist, dog trainer and/or behavior consultant…and maybe a combination of all of these. If you can not afford to get adequate support, you may not be able to safely keep this dog as a member of your family and there is NO shame there.
- Expertise – don’t ask for advice from people who are not qualified to give it. Other parents or dog owners have likely not spent years of their lives studying dog behavior. Just as FB is not a place to ask for medical advice, it’s not the place to ask how to prevent dog bites to your children. It’s 100% worth the investment to get help from a positive reinforcement professional. Your child and dog’s lives are at stake. Dogs who bite kids don’t usually have a very long lifespan, so don’t mess around hoping for the best. This won’t resolve itself.
- Asking for help on social media will likely lead to painful, shaming comments that will make you feel worse about yourself than you already do. Find someone compassionate to get support from instead.
Parenting Kids and Dogs
As a mom and teacher with 16 years of experience, I tend to truly understand what many families are going through, and love to offer them solutions that will make their lives easier. People who have not lived with young children don’t understand how chaotic and stressful it can be.
It’s important to be honest with yourself about your bandwidth and what you can actually implement with your dog. Perhaps all you can do right now is to use a baby gate to give your dog or children a safe space. If that is adequate to solve your problem, great. If not, you may need to make some hard decisions about your family’s future with this dog. To make REAL change, you may need to commit to spending time, money and other resources on improving the dynamics at home between your dog and children.
Children
Kids can be hard to live with. And that’s not an insult. It’s just how it is. They are like puppies – curious about exploring the world and testing boundaries. This is all normal. But it can be a difficult combination with your dog. Not all dogs love living with kids, so it’s important that you choose one who does. If your dog came first, you will have to put in some extra effort to help them adjust to life with kids. And for some dogs, that may not be possible.
The most common advice parents hear and trainers give parents is to “never leave your kids and dogs unsupervised.” This is oversimplified and discounts how thinly parents are spread. You can use gates, pens, crates, and doors to separate kids and dogs when you can’t pay complete attention to their interactions. Frankly, your sanity depends on this. It’s impossible to watch attentively all the time when you need to cook, work, decompress, do laundry, and play with your kids.
While the expression “kids will be kids” can be a cop out for teaching kids manners, it also rings true. Kids are unpredictable, loud, and chaotic. That’s not a bad thing. It can actually be really fun. But it can make life hard for some dogs. If you want to keep everyone safe, you need to set firm boundaries, teach respect, and prevent interactions unless the dog and child both give consent.
Additional resources:
- Dog Pros: If you want to discuss some of your cases and be sure you are on the right track, I also offer 30-minute coaching sessions to other trainers and behavior consultants. I’m also toying with a monthly membership model that offers you support with your clients who have dogs.
- Parents: On-demand workshop: Kid and Dog Relationships
- The Pooch Parenting Society – a supportive membership for parents with dogs
Do you have a question you’d like me to answer on the Pooch Parenting Podcast?
I love to answer listener questions on the podcast. If you’d like your question answered, please record it (like a voicemail!) here. I’ll do my best to include it in a future episode.
